Riddle me this...

Why oh why do the trying days seem as thought they are 50 hours long?
Why do both of the younger children insist on having meltdowns at the same time? (Sophie suddenly wants a husband and five children! Thanks Giselle for all of the wedding planning. Sophie is paying close attention to EVERYTHING!)
Why do you seem to gain weight when no longer breastfeeding? (I might need to break out the post-partum/maternity clothes :(
Why when in a hurry and on your way out the door in the morning, does your front tire register as "incredibly low" in air and the gas gauge below empty?
Why do you grow more gray hairs the more children you have?
Why does the show Private Practice drive me insane to the point of boycott? (What exactly is Addison's job title anyway...obstetrician, pediatrician, neonatal specialist...seriously?)
And lastly...why oh why do I have to have the most RIDICULOUS cell phone in the world? I DO NOT live in the Alps, nor on Mars, nor on an oil rig in the middle of the ocean, nor near the stars (woo...I almost went a little green eggs and ham there...sorry). So why is it that I can't get a few measly bars of reception in my own home?! I apologize to my friends...for the many dropped calls (the oh so many dropped calls) BTW Mandy had 3 today!!! Verizon and I have a date tomorrow morning...let's hope it goes as well as my last encounter. And by the way Andrea, sorry for throwing my phone across your living room today...you've officially seen me at my breaking point.
Thanks for letting me rant a bit.
God...a little help please?