Christmas Parade

This last weekend our fam participated in the Redlands Christmas Parade. It was a last minute thing but we had fun. We walked with our Redlands Homeschooler's Group and the kids decorated a beautiful banner and carried flags with "Merry Christmas" written in different languages. I loaded the kids up in our wagon and got ready for a chilly night of walking. My mom, dad, sis and more stood on the sidelines to cheer us on. After hours of waiting in line, we were off! At the last minute Jay decided to walk with us. I think a little part of me loved him more at that very moment. There were only three dads that walked with all of us moms and kids. Jay enjoyed pulling the kids in the wagon and "swooping" to the sidelines to give the onlookers candy canes. It was wonderful to see all of us enjoying the moment.

There were several times during the parade that people began cheering loudly for our group. We encountered moms yelling, "Yeah home schooler's!!!" while pointing to their children, "I home schooled every single one of my children!" I got a little teary eyed at a few moments. I was proud that my family and I stood for our belief in homeschooling and that people verbalized their support. We were all so proud to represent our right to home school. It was incredibly empowering.

Overall the entire group had a great time and we promised to do it again next year. (We're keeping our fingers crossed for a float...the walking became tiresome for the little ones.)

Yes, No, Maybe So?

So I was thinking...many of my friends have kids and very few of us would say that our parenting style is the "right" parenting style. Or would we? I know that there are mothers secretly critiquing one another behind their backs. It sucks, but it's the truth.

This topic seems to keep popping up, especially last week. It was discussed with church friends, family, personal friends and it left me pondering children in general and how we "parent" them and what onlookers may think.

Now I am the last person to tell you that my "style" of parenting is what everyone should use (do I actually have a style?) but I do hope that it works for my family. Let me tell you a little something I have realized.

I have a "Brat Theory." Yep, I do. Here's how it works. Picture the scenario...

Two moms are having lunch with their children and they notice another mother in an opposite booth trying desperately to discipline her toddler. The toddler continues to wriggle out of the booth and throws herself on the floor. The mother, quite embarrassed attempts to collect her dignity and deal with the situation in a quiet manner. The toddler then hits her mother and screams even louder. The mother calmly collects her things, heads for the door with her head down, toddler in tow while the rest of the restaurant stares at her. The best part of all of this is the two moms at the first table commenting to one another at what a "brat" her child is. (*Pause*...we have all been guilty of this, admit it!)

WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE PEOPLE!!! Maybe not this exact situation, but if you are a parent you have dealt with defiance, tantrums, disrespect, disorder, chaos and more. Too often we are quick to point out the "brat" at the next table without realizing that our own children have their "bratty" moments (sometimes all too frequently.)

I know that my children are far from perfect. I have three children in three very different stages right now. I'm dealing with a puberty/hormone driven 12 year old, a strong-willed, independent three year old and a sleep deprived, teething one year old. And I have found that I change my parenting style with each one. They have different personalities and different needs.

Baby Wise, Love and Logic, Dr. Sears, Attachment Parenting, etc., there are tons of "styles" out there. You do what you think works for your family. But please, please, puh-lease... do not judge the mom wrestling the toddler out of Target. Instead, move aside, offer a smile and say a little prayer for her. It could very well be your kid tomorrow.

I *heart* books

Did you know that I have a sick obsession with books, especially library books? I love the way they smell, the way they feel and the noises the pages make. I love that I can visualize the story in my mind. The characters and setting take on their own colors and details in my head. I delve into whatever book that I'm reading and it truly is a little escape from every day life. I love index cards and the Dewey Decimal System. It makes me so sad that you can now just type in your request and out comes the category name and number. I enjoy the process to find the book that I seek, wandering the aisles on an adventure and hoping and praying that my book is not checked out by another. And oh how happy I am when the book I yearn for is available. I told you...I love books.

When I was in elementary school our class would take trips to the library for story time with the librarian. I paid very close attention to how she cared for the book, her voice and the passion with which she read. I would dream of being an adult and of children coming to my library and reading books to them. I wanted to be a librarian and not too many people know that ;)

My mother still comments that while other kids were watching t.v. or outside playing I had my nose stuffed in a book. I read everything I could get my hands on. I pushed myself to finish large chapter books in just a few days. Many times the stories were so interesting that I read them in a day...snuggled up on the couch, oblivious to anything else. It was my little world and I absolutely loved it!

So here I am 20 years later and I realize that last night I stayed up until 1 am finishing the latest book on my nightstand. I am sleep deprived and my children are a little extra rambunctious and needy but I feel this great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I completed yet another book. Today it's off to the library for more! I pray that my children learn to appreciate books the way that I do. Learn by example right?

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

So, yesterday...I'll just attempt to recap just a bit.
We did pre-Thanksgiving at my in-laws home. Turkey was raw but the men improvised by barbecuing it (and it turned out pretty yummy). I tried not to verbalize my fear, but Sophie had e coli poisoning a few months ago from what we suspect to be ribs and I freak out any time she eats meat. She nibbled a bit, but pretty much embraced a "vegetarian" Thanksgiving Eve. The rest of the meal was mouth watering. I stuffed myself to the point of discomfort and enjoyed spending time with our family. The kids ran around playing (the Daddy's joined in too) and we enjoyed dessert.










We all agree that Miles is looking a bit more like Jay.

So today (official Thanksgiving Day). We awoke to more rain...it's a beautiful morning.



Sophie and Alec are making pancakes as I type this and Miles is still sleeping.





My coffee is wonderful and we are all enjoying our morning.

A few things that I'm thankful for:

~ God and His unending grace and forgiveness
~ My husband, children and wonderful family and friends
~ Our health
~ Our church (we adore Solid Ground and Pastor Rick)
~ The "right" to home school our children
~ Our warm home and the food in our pantry
~ Our jobs that provide for our needs
~ Our children's compassion for others and their needs

We don't get into the whole Pilgrims/Indians Thanksgiving Day in our home. What is politically correct and what isn't? Do we discuss the Pilgrims terrorizing Indians and taking their land? We've touched on Plymouth Rock, the ships and the journey; all the surface stuff. We've decided when Sophie and Miles are a bit older, maybe we'll provide the information and let them come to their own conclusion regarding human rights and fair treatment. We were fortunate to discuss human rights and constitutional rights with Alec during the recent election and I truly believe that he looks at things from a new perspective. For now, we use this day to discuss the things that we are thankful for and give thanks to God for all He has blessed us with.

So wherever you may be and however you choose to celebrate, we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and pray that you fill your gut with fully-cooked turkey!

Love, The Frates Baby Farm

Nap Time

Today was pretty mellow in the Frates household.

I always tell people that another positive aspect of homeschooling is the option to run around in your p.j.'s until some ungodly hour and just see where the day takes you.

This morning we arose, made oatmeal, I of course got myself a little coffee and we started school work. Everyone was in a great mood and the morning was...peaceful. The kids took a break to play outside as Sophie needed to check on her horses...another one is pregnant. (Seriously, the best non-purchase ever. They live in the canyon below our home and she honestly believes they belong to her and claims them as such.) She told me today that she is their midwife. Ahh...she does hear the things her mommy talks about :) Have I told you I love this girl?

I have been fighting an awful headache for the last 3 days. It just seems to linger with a dull, ache around my temples and sinuses. I can't seem to figure out what the problem is. Along with my acne...I'm a bit of a mess. And no, I am NOT pregnant. So calm down people, take a deep breath. I have simply realized that 30 has struck me smack in the head (literally).

Miles went down for a nap at 2, Alec ran down the street to play with his friends, Pop went out to play a little golf and Sophie and I declared it NAP TIME!!! Oh how we love nap time together, just us two girls. We pile tons of blankets on my bed to make it extra fluffy and climb in together loaded with books. I read a bit of my "big girl" book and Sophie peruses her selection. We read to one another, sing songs and snuggle. I adore this child...she melts my heart.

Today she told me, "Mommy, thank you for being my mommy. I love you." I honestly teared up and thanked her for letting me be her mommy. I thought of all we went through the first year of her life. It saddens me that I looked at it so negatively. People even now comment sarcastically as to how "awful" she was. Oh...we were learning. I was new at it and she was new at it. We were trying to figure it all out.

I learned so much about myself and Sophie that first year. She may not consciously remember everything but I believe her soul does and we have grown so much as mother and daughter because of it. I love her spunk and spirit and realize that she is a little "mini-me." I see how much she wants to be like me and do all that I do. I think that we have a deeper connection and appreciation for one another after all that we went through.

I now understand what my mom was implying when she told me, "You'll understand when you have a daughter."

Mom, I understand...I truly do.

Thankful

We make it a big deal to have family dinner together on the nights that Pop is home from work. Sophie and I make dinner and she sets the table while Bubba gets the beverage of choice for each person. Pork Chop usually crawls around the kitchen begging for food (so sad...he really is a baby not an animal).

Once the food has been served we go around and share stories about our day and what we are thankful for. We try to take turns saying grace but Sophie always seems to add a little bit to whomever is praying. She always thanks "Shesus" for bringing Daddy home safe from the Choo-choo train. (I do too.)

These are the moments that tickle my heart. I am so thankful to be a wife and mother. There are moments throughout my day that become frustrating and troublesome but I truly look forward to dinner as a family when I can sit in my chair, take a deep breath and be thankful for our family, our meal and all that God has blessed us with.

I adore the nights when I know that Pop will be home. I love that my stomach still flutters in anticipation of his arrival after being without him for 3 days. I love that we make each other laugh until our chubby cheeks ache. I love that he knows my mind, body and soul. He knows when I hurt and when I need that extra hug. I love that he can walk in the door and make me fall in love all over again. I love him profusely and I am so thankful for him.

Motrin Update

Okay so apparently shortly after I posted my last blog the Motrin website was not accessible. If you were unable to read the ad that they ran here it is:

Wearing your baby seems to be in fashion.
I mean, in theory it’s a great idea.
There’s the front baby carrier, sling, schwing, wrap, pouch.
And who knows what else they’ve come up with.
Wear your baby on your side, your front, go hands free.
Supposedly, it’s a real bonding experience.
They say that babies carried close to the bod tend to cry less than others.
But what about me?
Do moms that wear their babies cry more than those who don’t?
I sure do!
These things put a ton of strain on your back, your neck, your shoulders.
Did I mention your back?!
I mean, I’ll put up with the pain because it’s a good kind of pain; it’s for my kid.
Plus, it totally makes me look like an official mom.
And so if I look tired and crazy, people will understand why.

So I (along with many others) sent notice to every friend, hippie, midwife, doula, La Leche League member, (you get the point) and we spoke up. I don't even know how many letters were sent to the Motrin marketing department but it worked. We were offended by the ad and we let them know.
As of today, Motrin pulled the ad and responded with this: (if it's too small to read, please go to www.motrin.com)

Yeah, some of you are thinking that I'm nuts (my husband for example), but like I said, I'm "passionate" about a lot of things. Plus, it's very simple. We should not be "mocked" for choosing to "wear" our babies. That's all folks!